I started stims yesterday. 225 follistim, 225 menupur, plus the Ganerelix. I found out that my protocol is considered the "Sher" protocol and found some decent documentation on it, so I feel better about taking the Ganerelix from the very beginning.
I am very good at avoiding painful things in my life. I think this coping mechanism is one of the reasons I've avoided this blog for the past few weeks and also why I feel desperately like I want to close my eyes, plug my ears and sing LALALALALALA for the next 12-14 days.
Lets make that a full month. When I open my eyes, I want to see one thing and one thing only. 2 freaking pink lines.
But, I also know that writing these feelings out makes me realize what I'm doing, and this blog should be a source of comfort, not something to avoid. Pulling the covers over my head and hiding is not the best way to deal with this process.
I think I need to kick this pessimistic Reese's ass. Starting today I will strive to think happy thoughts about this cycle. I will have some alcohol-free fun at my friends Halloween Party tomorrow (I'm going as Carmen Sandiago), I will try hard to do well at my work conference this week, and I will try to cut down on the hours long Donor Egg Google sessions and look more for '3rd try is the charm' stories.
Wish me luck.