The Needles come out..

 I started stims yesterday.  225 follistim, 225 menupur, plus the Ganerelix.  I found out that my protocol is considered the "Sher" protocol and found some decent documentation on it, so I feel better about taking the Ganerelix from the very beginning.

I am very good at avoiding painful things in my life.  I think this coping mechanism is one of the reasons I've avoided this blog for the past few weeks and also why I feel desperately like I want to close my eyes, plug my ears and sing LALALALALALA for the next 12-14 days.

Lets make that a full month.  When I open my eyes, I want to see one thing and one thing only.  2 freaking pink lines.

But, I also know that writing these feelings out makes me realize what I'm doing, and this blog should be a source of comfort, not something to avoid.  Pulling the covers over my head and hiding is not the best way to deal with this process.

I think I need to kick this pessimistic Reese's ass.  Starting today I will strive to think happy thoughts about this cycle.  I will have some alcohol-free fun at my friends Halloween Party tomorrow (I'm going as Carmen Sandiago), I will try hard to do well at my work conference this week, and I will try to cut down on the hours long Donor Egg Google sessions and look more for '3rd try is the charm' stories.

Wish me luck.