(Yup, that's me)
I had to come back to reality of everyday. Everyday involves my stressful job, which is amplified x100 at the beginning of the year. I hate that my job heavily involves knowing too much about the 4.2% FICA switch and reimbursing cafeteria Section 125 deductions--aren't you salivating to know more??
But what the hell, it pays the bills. And it will be paying for our most expensive journey yet... because I think, if possible, we will be going to CCRM.
The more I think about it, the more I want to KNOW I did everything. I went to the best and if the best can't get me pregnant, then maybe that will be the answer I need to move on.
I don't know how we will do it; and maybe I'll change my mind after my WTF (which has been moved up to next Tuesday) or after my phone consult with CCRM on Valentines day, but for today this is how I feel.
Last time I checked my bank account I did not have an extra 25k kicking around, so we would have to be approved for a loan. This is the roadblock I am most worried about.
That's not true. I'm most worried about coming out of 2011 without hope for the future, without any answers, and without a positive pregnancy test.
But for now, I'm holding out hope that I'll have to pass on that bottle of vodka when bringing in 2012.
Good luck on your WTF appointment. And I agree with you. I needed to know that I had done everything possible before I take the next step. Thus IVF #4 w/ my own eggs before moving to a different option. May 2011 be the year of our 'take home babies' :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're feeling optimistic about CCRM - I'll keep my fingers crossed that things progress well for you!
ReplyDeleteoh good luck! I hope things work out for you! I know I need to find a way to afford more treatments also...it's a hard decision.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are set on a path though.
http://missconception-ads.blogspot.com/
Buy yourself an expensive vodka then you will be guaranteed to see it go to waste next new years eve! :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with CCRM, it doesn't hurt to get their opinion (and not pay because of MI state!) and then look at your options. Look foward to hearing how that goes.