Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Next Steps

In an earlier post I had mentioned that I usually have a Plan B in case of IVF failure. This plan B includes something nice to look forward to in order to help cushion the blow. IVF #2 Plan B resulted in the best little puppy-wuppy in the whole world. Who's the BEST PUPPY?? UR the BEST PUPPY! YES U ARE! YES U ARE!

Um...sorry. Ok where was I? Oh yes, Plan B for IVF #3. Well, I don't really have one.

At one point I wanted to get a tattoo to cover up the ill-advised "I'm 18 and I do what a want" tattoo I got on my back in 1998. I no longer really like it and its in the gag-worthy colors of purple and teal. I've wanted to get a whimsical, black silhouette tree. However, since the affects of tattoo ink in the bloodstream is pretty unstudied and unknown, I don't want to risk anything right now. So, that will have to wait until sometime later in life.

I think my plan B will just have to be my yearly cabin retreat at New Years with college friends, and the fact that I won't have to explain why I'm not drinking. To put it politely, me not drinking at this event would definitely be noteworthy.

I am also moving forward with our "next step" decision making. I have a consultation with SIRM on Thursday. I am thinking about coughing up the $250 to get a consult at CCRM. We'll see.

Unfortunately, I don't get my WTF appt with my current RE until 1/25. Guh. That is forever away. Especially since if we decide to go there again I would want to cycle in April, and that would mean starting Provera in February since he likes to have me on it for 2 months prior.

We'll see. I was definitely frustrated with his easy dismissal of me at our last WTF. I was hoping he wouldn't mention Donor Eggs, but it was about all he talked about. I know he wants me to have the best possible chance for success, but I wasn't ready to hear it, and I personally feel it was too soon to bring this up.

I think if this cycle had gone as poorly as the first two in terms of retrieval, fertilization, and quality of transfer, I would be looking at Donor Eggs a lot more closely. But since we had a great response, and some pretty good looking day 3 embryos, I would like to pursue this protocol some more and see if it can be tweaked at all to produce some more mature eggs (always a problem for me), and a larger batch of quality eggs. This cycle, even though it was negative, has given me more hope that it may still be possible with my eggs. At this point in time, that is all I need to keep going forward.

It won't be all I need for very long, but for right now it is.

I really hope that my RE is more optimistic when I meet with him in January. He has given us great discounts since we have had to do this multiple times, and staying with him is the option that makes the most sense financially and logistically. I just hope he makes me feel that it is the best decision emotionally as well. If he's an ass, I might push N8 to let us throw some big money at SIRM or CCRM. We'll see how those consults go.

Until next time...


  1. Hi ~ just checking in on you. Sorry to hear about your bfn. I really am. It's always nice to see someone "get off the island" even if I am one of those left behind.

    We have attended a SIRM seminar and thought about consulting with them too. It never hurts to get a fresh pair of eyes. Hang in there.

  2. Hi, I've only recently found your blog and I'm sorry about the suckfest that is IF and IVF. It's good to read about your protocols and what your RE thinks. I also wanted to let you know that the CCRM consult is free b/c you are in Michigan. So it does not hurt except for chasing down and mailing medical records. I also live in MI and am a CCRM patient. Let me know if you need more info.

  3. Having something to look forward to even when things go horribly wrong is a great idea. My hubby and I have thought of going to Hawaii at the end of our horrible journey. What better way to celebrate surviving years of invasive procedures than by going through airport security?

  4. I had to laugh at all the hoopla created by the recent security changes. I let virtual strangers probe my vajayjay every other day, wtf do i care if somebody pats me down.
    But Hawaii sounds beautiful..don't know how I would drag myself back home :)

  5. i'm so glad you have a plan in place. good luck with the consults and keep us posted!