Sunday, November 21, 2010

Not doing so well

Today is 7dp3dt and I have a confession to make. I am an obsessive POASer. Its shameful, I know. But I cannot help myself.

I had to take a booster shot at 2dp3dt, and so I started testing so I could tell when the booster was out of my system.

Well, the booster is definitively out of my system today.

Today the left line was Snow White, and she just became my least favorite Disney Princess. The bitch doesn't want to give up any of her little people.

I just spent the last hour bawling my eyes out. I am trying to hide it from my husband, because he only wants me to "think positive" and "hope for the best", but I am unable to do that right now.

I was really hoping I would see the line fade and then see it start to get darker. Tomorrow I will be using my last pee stick, and if Snow White insists on sticking around I don't know how much hope I can hold out for this cycle.

As far as symptoms go I am not sure I have had any that I haven't had before on other BFN cycles.

1. My boobs hurt like hell
2. I have been cramping on and off. I had an especially painful one that doubled me over yesterday while Christmas shopping that was surprising in its strength.
3. I sleep way too much and am still tired all the time.
4. The one *new symptom* would be clogged ears? Is that a symptom? I don't know, but its annoying. I feel like I'm underwater.

The symptom I want the most, I still do not have--Peeing on a stick and making it turn pink.


  1. This is my first visit to your blog. We are in the middle of our first IVF cycle and I am telling myself that I will not POAS... we'll see if that actually happens. It must be soo tempting. Really you know nothing until the beta so try to hang in there. I know it's tough when your husband is saying to stay positive and you just want answers. I am hoping for a big positive for you on beta day! Hang in there! Happy ICLW!

  2. Hello I'm here too ICLW
    I'm so confused withe abbreviations? POAS? BFP? Am I bad patient or do I have a bad R/E to not be familiar w/the terms? HELP
    The C's

  3. BFN=big fat negative
    POAS=Pee on a stick
    I have been meaning to get a key up, but I haven't.

  4. I am so scared of HPTs its not even funny. I only did one 5 mins before my blood test just so I could be prepared. POAS drives one a little nuts, esp these last few days of the 2ww. Id say, if you can, stay away, 10dpo is still early bells. Ive heard of some who didnt even get a + POAS and their beta was 99.

    Thinking of you, these last days are torturous.

  5. I am pulling for you! We need some good news here in Infertility World. I hope you are doing okay and to be husband says those same things after every negative test. I get it.

  6. It's always such a dilemma whether to POAS or not. Do I want to be devastated now...or later? Still, it is a bit early for you. Maybe there's still hope!

  7. Ugh, 2WW totally sucks donkey! It's still early for testing and I'm hoping third time's a charm for you!!

    Happy ICLW!

  8. Really hoping your stick is wrong...good luck and thinking of you!

  9. 10 dpo is too early! and if it were positive, wouldn't you have maybe assumed that it was still the booster? one of the girls on a board i read tested at about 10dpo and she got a BFN then low and behold her beta today was 600+! hang in there!

  10. Here for ICLW. I hope that stick turns pink for you soon and you get your BFP. I'll be following to keep up!